Having A Baby – Don’t Take Your Fertility For Granted

Our 7 year old daughter, Meg, moments after she was born.

Our 11 year old daughter, Meg, moments after she was born.

(Updated)

Oops.  Hope that picture wasn’t too jarring if your just sitting down with your coffee first thing in the morning.

Her 8th Child

It’s 7:42pm and my best friend is about to have a baby a few blocks away.  It’s her 8th one.  (She has 10 now) It’s funny how years ago, that would have been somewhat of a shocking statement, but today it doesn’t even phase me.  She is at home with her husband and her children.  Her husband has already delivered two of their children because the midwife didn’t make it in time.  All was fine.  He is going to catch this baby too.  By himself.  Only this time it’s all planned out.  And all prayed up.

Texting During Labor

She and I were just texting.  I want to tell you young ladies what our texts said.  Now remember, this is my Titus 2 Woman we are talking about.  I’m 48.  (now 52) My 5 children are (now) 15 down to 3.   I had our 3rd at 42 and adopted our 4th and 5th.  Menopause, was the initial instigator.   She is 36.  (40 now) Her children are (now) 16 down to 1.   In my mind, age has become irrelevant.   Unless you are talking about fertility.   Anyway, here is our text exchange.

Me:  Hey girl.  Can you text?

Her:   Y

Me:  How far apart?

Her:  Just about 30 min.

Me:  You walking around and stuff?

Her:  Y

Me:  Need anything?

Her:  Just being patient.  In my cave, you know.

Me:  Totally.  I think your birth may be on H’s bday.  That’s fun  (My 6 yr old son’s bday is tmo)

Her:  I think it might cancel out the farm. :(   (bday party location)

Me:  Yes.  That’s OK.  Who knows.  If you want, we could take some or all your boys or girls or whatever would be nice for you.

Her:  K.  We’ll see.  Thanks.

Me:  Sure.  Anything works.

Her:  Sounds great.

Me:  Just text if you wanna talk more.  Or maybe you want to really be deep in the cave.

Her:  OK.  I will.  I’m getting there.

Me:  I’m trying not to be covetous.  Relish these moments.

Her:  Are you serious?

Me:  Yes I’m serious.  I would love to feel a baby in me and give birth again!

Her:  Wow.  That’s heavy.  I will take that to heart.  I have felt thankful but that takes it to a whole new level.

Me:  Well I’m glad I could impart that to you in the heat of the moment.

Her:  Smile.  Yes.  It’s good timing on your part, for sure.

Me:  It’s all God.

Her:  You need to blog about it.

Me:  Oooooh.  Not sure.  From what angle.   (This is starting to get personal)

PHONE RINGS.  SHE IS TIRED OF TYPING.

Her:  From the angle of “Girls don’t take your fertility for granted.  If you are married, GET WITH IT.”

Well, I’ve agreed with that for years now, but it certainly isn’t a popular opinion these days.

Again, Meg moments after her birth.

Again, Meg moments after her birth.

You can never say If I had it to do over again, I would do “such and such” because back then, things were different.  You knew what you knew, and that was that.

But!

To My Children

I can impart something a little different.  Of course each child is different and we will see what happens as they grow, but I definitely visualize encouraging my children, when they find the right spouse, to go ahead, get married early and start a family.  It ultimately brings the most joy.

“All The Way Home”

Here is an excerpt from Mary Pride’s book.  A very instrumental book in my life.

We grew up taking our fertility for granted which is not a good idea.  In real life fertility is a special gift.  Almost 50% of married couples are infertile [1989].

Then she talks about a woman who found out she could not have children 3 years into her marriage.  She was devastated.  She and her husband immediately pursued adoption.  At the point that she said the following, they had adopted 3 children and wanted more.

The point I wish to make is this.  There is no guarantee that anyone will conceive at will.  And those who plan to have children later, might find that later they have unplanned barrenhood.

“I wish…..”

My friend, who is about to have this baby, and her husband, see lots of people in the twilight of their life with their ministry.  They, many times, ask these people for any wisdom about what they might have done differently and she reports that what they say the most is they wish “they would have had more children” and “that their relationship with their children was better.”  It seems to be all about the children.

Ladies, Listen Up

Don’t wait until it’s too late because our silly modern culture has hardwired into you that children are a burden or too costly or whatever it is.  It may be hard work now, but ultimately, I believe, you will be glad you didn’t succumb to that lie.  Break the chain.  Embrace the gift of fertility.

God Bless You and your Babies and your Babies yet to come.

From your womb or from your heart (adopted).

March 27, 2009  8:05am.  Abigail Ruth Dunford is born.  7’4″.    20″.   A perfect baby with a perfect birth in a perfect atmosphere.  At Home.  Just Mom and Dad.  Way to go!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

9 thoughts on “Having A Baby – Don’t Take Your Fertility For Granted

  1. If I had it to do over again I certainly would have done it all differently! I didn’t realize after my son was born the emotional and physical feelings I would have years later from having a tubaligation. It has been worse than I ever thought and was told. I would tell others to pray hard and long on this and wait for God. No one on this earth can know the ramifications from taking this in your own hands. God knows. I believe He didn’t create our bodies to have this done.

  2. This is so awesome, Allison! AND, inspiring!! That book you reference is what changed my heart about my fertility! I told Miss O that she and Meg have another
    thing in common, they were both home waterbirths, right??

    SUCH MARVELOUS NEWS FOR THE DUNFORD CREW!! Two girls in a row…broke the rhythm there, but God has a way of doing that doesn’t He?

  3. I must add that planting those seed early does bear good fruit, indeed. My oldest who is 26 and married was with me for all but one of her siblings birth. She is now a doula, studying as a montrice, possibly culminating in becoming a midwife. I am sure she and her husband will be having there family at home, Lord willing, as that is the plan! This will be so cool as her little sister, 9, can and will be instrumental in HER life and fertility…so the passing of the baton will be, prayerfully, a smooth one and they will NOT take the blessing of fertility for granted!

  4. Allison,

    This is such wisdom! I was told that I would not be able to have children and at 40 became pregnant with Emma. I would love to have a dozen more. I’m praying for God to change my husband’s heart. I am very open to adopting as well. I just know that God has always wanted me to be a mommy!

    With love,
    Susan

    • Susan,
      I totally know what you mean. I would love a dozen more too. Don’t grow weary of praying for your husband. God certainly has a plan much bigger than us! Be encouraged.