Matthew at work. He is a country lawyer.

Ladies, one of the most important things we will ever do is pray for our husbands.   It should be our “go-to” move when all else fails.  But, really, we want this to become our “go-to” move before we do anything else.  (This picture is my husband at work before he moved his office home.  He is a country lawyer in Oklahoma.)

Husbands Have To Take On The External World

BBAH on right and another attorney on the left outside of judge's chambers. Gotta say I love him in a suit with cowboy boots!Matt on the right and another attorney on the left outside of judge’s chambers.  Gotta say I love him in a suit with cowboy boots!

From the beginning, men were designed to go out,  kill the bear and fight the battle.   Women were designed to be home stoking the fire, talking to the other women, giving birth and nurturing the children.

Our Ultimate Joy

We can, in this modern world, think that is backward, patriarchal, oppressive to women or whatever, but the truth is our ultimate joy will come from doing what God designed us to do.  I did not fully grasp this until I was 40.  I encourage you to “get it” sooner than I did.

There Are Women Probably Saying

“He should be the one praying for the family and praying for me.  Isn’t he supposed to be the spiritual leader of the home?  And by the way, I have to take on the world too!” (I know this because I was one of those women saying this!)

Well, yes.  Sort of.  It’s different.  Ladies, stay with me here.  We are talking about us.  We need to let the guys teach the guys.  One of my favorite phrases by my friend Lorenzo Dunford comes to mind:  The problem with everyone else is you. Meaning:  We have to only look at our contribution to the problem.  Not the other person’s.

Oh, and, by the way, that husband will never change by our huffing and puffing around about it.  In fact, that will only make things worse.

My Husband.  Country Lawyer.

For my situation, when I think of my husband, every single day going to work, taking care of other people’s personal legal and therefore, usually, emotional problems, explaining complicated legal issues to them,

Talking to a client

On the phone with a new client

fighting battles in a courtroom, keeping track of documents and court rules, arguing with other attorneys day in and day out, traveling all over the state to various small town courthouses, and then trying to get people to pay him……..Man!  The guy needs some prayer!

And after all that, he gets to come home and be a good husband and father.

This pic is so out of focus and grainy but I just love the content!  The dad teaching the son.

Matthew and HenryAlot of times he loves what he does, but alot of times he would much rather be hanging out with his family, working on our house

matt-and-girls-planting-flowers

or planting trees at our little piece of land,

planting-tree-with-henry

or playing his guitar and writing music.

Playing guitar on rock and roll day in his office with his friends.

But.  He goes to work anyway.

Here It Is In A Nutshell:

Our goal must be to become the model of a woman any good man would want as his wife.  Loving, praying, gentle, not nagging, frugal, productive, etc…..Just read Proverbs 31 and you will get the picture.

And Why?  (This Is The Important Part) Because…

We are accountable to God for our actions while we are here on earth playing the roles that we have chosen.  Wife, and maybe mother.

Our husbands are accountable for their own actions.  We are not accountable for our husband’s actions.  Only ours.  That thought helps me just do the best I can possibly do and not worry about what he is doing.  God will be on his case, so I don’t have to.  Yeah!  One less thing to do!

So.  The Prayer.

Our godly behavior and our praying will be the vehicle that changes things. And that’s it.  With that in mind, here is a fantastic prayer that my good friend Lorenzo Dunford put together for me  about 7 or so years ago.

Print It Out

Fill in your husbands name and start praying it.  This prayer has various scripture throughout.  Praying God’s word (words from the Bible) is the most powerful prayer.  I believe you will see change if you will be patient.

A Prayer For My Husband

Father, as I intercede for my husband, I pray that you will honor my request.  Every word I confess on behalf of my husband shall come to pass for I pray your Word and not my will.

Father, I thank you that my husband ________ takes your Word and confesses it daily over himself and his whole household.  I thank you that he listens to your wisdom.  Together he and I dwell securely in confident trust, and we are without fear or dread of any evil.

My husband’s ears are attentive to skillful and godly wisdom that inclines and directs his heart and mind to understanding.  He applies all of his power to the quest of wisdom and understanding.  He lets not mercy, kindness, or truth forsake him.  He binds them about his neck and he writes them on the tablet of his heart.

He truly prizes the wisdom of God highly and exalts her (wisdom).  Wisdom, in return, exalts and promotes him, bringing him honor because he embraces her.  For You, O Lord, are his confidence, firm and strong, and You keep his foot from being caught in a trap or hidden danger.

Wherever he goes, your Word shall lead him.  When he sleeps, your Word shall keep him.  When he awakens, your Word shall talk to him.  Therefore, he will speak of excellent and princely things, and the opening of his lips shall be for right things.

I say by faith that the words of his mouth are righteous, upright and in right standing with You, and there is nothing contrary to the truth or crooked in them.  He lives considerately with me, with an intelligent recognition of our marriage relationship.

He honors me as physically the weaker.  However, he realizes that we are joint-heirs to the throne with Jesus spiritually.  He does this in order that our prayers will not be hindered or cut off.

He daily confesses that we are of one and the same mind, united in spirit, compassionate and courteous, tenderhearted and humble-minded.  He believes for our welfare, happiness and protection, because we love and respect each other.

Father, thank you that we are a couple of good report, that we are successful in everything we set our hands to do.  We are uncompromisingly righteous.  We capture human lives for You as fishers of men.

As we do this, we are confident that You are the Lord God who teaches us to profit and who leads us in the way we should go.  We are bountiful and are abundantly supplied,  with every need met, in the name of Jesus.  We have obtained the favor of the Lord, and Your will is done in our lives and in the lives of our children.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

(adapted from “Prayers That Avail Much,”  #76, p. 220)

Much like a prescription given by a doctor, this prayer will only work if “worked.”  It is not a “magic formula,” but a tool to consistently and slowly renew your mind to an awesome viewpoint and heart condition concerning your husband.  My strong recommendation is that you pray it early in the morning before the day begins, again at noon, and in the evening.  However, know that the more you pray, the more it will manifest in front of you.  There is power in His Word and when we use His Word, that power is released onto the area of our heart’s cry.  Don’t grow weary, grow confident in your words of faith.

Beautiful, huh?

God Bless You Ladies and I Pray That Your Husbands Know God And Pray For You Too!

PS.  By The way, I highly recommend this book, “Prayers That Avail Much.” It’s one of my favorite books I own.  It has a powerful prayer for just about every single subject you can come up with.

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  1. Catherine says:

    Major encouragement that I am glad I have now and wish I would have had 30 years ago. I can even see praying this for my dad when he was alive and how it would have been effective in that way, too.
    Thanks for the challenging and thought-provoking blogs, Allison, always much appreciated!

  2. You have a new friend in Redlands,Ca. Thanks for sharing your ideas and wisdom, I appreciate it! May you continue to be blessed!
    Your friend in Christ,
    Jennifer Sterenberg

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