We flew back to Moscow from Izhevsk and arrived in the evening. The next day we had about 8 hours to sight-see before we flew south to Stavropol to meet Ilya. (Luke 10 months old) This is Matt in front of the subway entrance.
We need this break. We are emotionally spent right now. To be so keyed up, traveling across the world and ending up in some rural place in God knows where, at an orphanage with all these poor, precious children and then feeling this isn’t right. Lord, what in the world are we doing here so far from home. Why in the world did you bring us here?Matt trying to get directions for which subway we should get on. How ’bout those chandeliers!
Matt and I talked about this a lot. We were now to the point of “Well, maybe we were just supposed to come to Russia for some other reason entirely. Maybe we aren’t supposed to adopt at all. Or at least not from Russia. We need to be prepared for the same thing in Stavropol. So over the course of that day, we had talked ourselves into the fact that this whole trip may very well end up with no adoption at all and we had to be ok with that.Moscow University
But… at the end of that day, as we were on the plane flying now to Stavropol, I looked down on my wrist. I had brought with me about 20 rubber bracelets for each of the orphanage workers at the two orphanages. I got them at our local Christian bookstore. They had words like Joy, Hope, Love, etc and then an appropriate verse on each one.
I kept one for myself before we left the US and had been wearing it this whole time, but in the flurry of preparing for the trip, I had not yet paid attention to what it said. I looked at it on the plane and it said “Faith.” The verse on the back said “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Oh my. That is one of my favorite verses. Hmmm.
I looked at Matt and said, “Where is our faith?
Look at this bracelet. It says faith is the substance of things hoped for. Aren’t we hoping that God is bringing us a child?” Yes, he said. “Well, we had a really challenging experience back there, but we still have to have faith, don’t we.” Yes, we do, he said. So in that moment, we got turned back around and re-aligned with God. Bless you God. You are always there at the right moment.
Andrei – A Good Sign
We got off the plane and our driver/interpreter Andrei met us. We immediately liked him a lot and I thought this was a good sign. It was about 10pm and we were tired. He took us to a nice 4-story hotel with restaurant and very pretty outdoor patio. Our bedroom had these cute toddler-like twin beds, a couple of chairs for a little sitting area, a desk and windows that opened onto the courtyard below. No screens. Just open air.
Stavropol is a beautiful city. Well-cared for, set in hills, probably about the size of Wichita, Kansas. Here are a few pictures near our hotel.
War memorial in a city park.
This reminded me of some old sci-fi movie that I can’t recall. It might have been Star Trek!
Time To Go
The next morning Andrei was on time and very professional. There was no waiting around. We went to the Minister of Education for our interview. In the last city, this was a slightly nerve-wracking interview. It’s a little like you are on trial trying to calmly convince the Russian government that you are reasonable people that simply want to be loving parents.
Another Good Sign
Andrei walked in and left us in the car at first. They were busy and asked him if we were “good” people. He said yes, we are very good people and they said ok, forget the interview, go on to the orphanage. Andrei is well-connected and people trust him. All right! Things are looking good.
Next we drove up to the orphanage. Again, it is an old run-down building but something about it seems more right than the other one. I was starting to have a good sense about things.
Exterior of Orphanage in Stavropol
We walk in, talk to the Orphanage Director first, a very nice woman, answer a few questions while Andrei fills out paperwork, and then we are led to Ilya’s area. This orphanage had 53 children, 5 years old and younger.
The Orphanage Director and our guide and translator, Andrei. Matt and I still text message with him!
When I reread this next part, I still feel my breath taken away.
We walked into the playroom. The 9 babies in this section were just waking up in the next door crib room.
We sat down on the couch next to the changing table. Our interpreter was with us.
This sweet caretaker, who I later found out had been there 4 or 5 years, brought Luke out to us naked and ready to be changed. That prayer was answered – that he had the same caretaker his entire life.
I felt as if the doctor was bringing me my naked baby that I had just birthed. He was squirming all around. She laid him on the changing table. Our interpreter comically said in his Russian accent, “See, everything intact.”
I Was Spellbound By Him
So was Matt. She handed him to me and the moment I held him and smelled his sweet head, I said to Matt, “I think he is ‘the one’.”
Ahhh, a baby.
I knew it immediately and completely felt the same about him as when any of our other three had been born and then put into my arms. All I can say is it is just God and another prayer was answered – that we’d know him when we saw him and that the first picture we received would be “the one.”
We were able to visit Luke 3 times over the course of 2 days for about an hour each time.
Tears In The Middle Of The Street
I still had Alexander on my mind while we were in Stavropol seeing Luke.
In fact, one day Matt and I were walking down the street by our hotel. It was late afternoon and all of sudden I just burst into tears. Who knows what all the people on the street were thinking. Matt hugged me and we just stood there. Me crying. Him hugging. In the middle of the sidewalk with people walking on either side of us.
The thought of leaving any of these children in these ophanages was, once again, heartbreaking. But what do we (all people) do? It’s an enormous thought.
After that we headed back home to Oklahoma, knowing that God was in control. It was time for more paperwork and prayer that our 2nd trip and court date would come soon.
OK, I am sitting here crying and hoping it will not be too long before the next installment! You got me hooked, girlfriend! Nothing like “real life” for true drama, eh?
Hey Allison I am in Russia right now. We went to a orphanage today. 60 children age 0-4. 30% of the children have disabilities the most common disability was Downs Syndrom and CP. 6 to one ratio of children to care giver. It was clean facility. We did not see a lot of children due to nap time and the Russia goverment is not going to let up wander around. It is my understanding that the Russian goverment wants these children to b e adopted by Russians and it is a big push in their goverment. You were lucky to get your gift Luke. On a side note my host mom just lectured me on how all Russian babies are potty trained by two. And at age 1 including boys they were no diapers and wear underwear. The look on my face was amazement. I am sure she thought I was some weak loving American who would let her child be in diapers till 3. The HORROR
Yes, they would not let us look around at the orphanage except for the room Luke was in which had 9 babies. Yes, the Russian govt wants Russians to adopt and they motivate them to with various benefits. Only children allowed to be adopted outside of Russia are those with some kind of disability. Luke’s was the crossed eye. And yes, the potty training like that is typical in almost all orphanages in many countries. The workers dont have time to deal with diapers for years. What a deal! Have a great time!!!
I just brought my guy home from this orphanage in December. He is 4. Great to see the pics! I didn’t get to take any except of the out building. He recognized the director.
That is so cool! God Bless you for adopting!
I am sure our sons spent time together. We adopted our little guy from same orphanage in August 2009. He is 3, turning 4. Please feel free to contact me…I have some pics, and also a publication featuring the lovely orphanage director. Kris
Thanks for writing. I can’t figure out how to contact you so I’m posting my rarely used email here for you: email@example.com. I figure if I get slammed with a lot of junk mail by posting it; I’m Ok with that as I only check it once a month or so, but I’ll keep an eye out for your email. I met another lady who adopted from here and she had pics of my son with her’s which was great to see.
Allison, I come to your site often and look at all the pictures. Really brings back the memories.
Hopefully you wont get any spam and you guys will connect. Let me know if I can help. Thanks for your kind comments. Time to get another installment up. Bless you and your babies!
Thanks, Allison. I don’t seem to have any spam but I had the filter set so high that her email went to junk mail folder but was able to get in touch. A different lady also contacted me previously who adopted my son’s buddy. When I was visiting my son they kept talking about how he seemed to understand that adoption meant going to live with your mom/dad because he had a close friend get adopted. She actually had pics of the two playing together! Such a small world. Look forward to reading another installment.
Hi Allison — we adopted two girls from the same place 12 years ago. We are planning a trip back next summer with the girls and would really like to reconnect with Andrew and possible meet up with him to be our “tour guide”. Unfortunately, I cannot find his information.
Do you have his contact information? Thanks!
I don’t have his info handy right now but he is on Facebook. Are you? Check that. If you still need help let me know and I’ll check when I’m home :) Sounds fun!!
11 Comments on The Turning Point – Russian Adoption Journal Part 5